It's time for another member of our herd to introduce herself - this time it's Kerry. Now I don't want to cast aspersions on Kerry's nature, or say anything disparaging or demeaning about her, so what's the best word to describe our friend? Hmm, ah yes, I know - a slut. Strangely proud of it too, she is, constantly fluttering her fake eyelashes, flaunting her ridiculously over-sized udders, and don't get me started on her even more ludicrous fake orange tan. She's more orange than a stadium full of Dutch football fans. I won't include a picture, as I think she's vain enough already. Okay, here she is.
Alwight everyone! Yeah, it's Kerry, innit! All the other cows is dead jealous of me 'cause I got the biggest udders. And the bulls just looooove my stiletto hoofs, they make me look soooooooooooo glamorous! Angus is the only bull around, unfortunately, and because he's a bull he of course can't resist me. Let me describe our brief encounter from the other day.
"Aha, it's the beautiful Kerry. Can't resist my charms, eh?" Angus said without expecting an answer. Angus is not one for foreplay, so sex actually commenced slightly quicker than immediately.
"Oh, look at me go! Wahey, you can't beat a bit o' bully!" Angus exclaimed as he mounted me. "Oh yes, the king is in his cattle! What a fantastic cattle prod I am! You're loving every single sec ... oh ... erm ... I bet you enjoyed both those seconds," he said, before promptly falling asleep.
As you can see, Angus might love himself but he is not exactly the ideal lover. So if any bulls out there want a guaranteed good time, you know where I am. See you, Kerry x
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