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Thursday 2 February 2012

Introducing Angus

Ok, here now is a picture of Angus because I promised him he could say a few words. 


I have to warn you - Angus is so rude and arrogant he makes Simon Cowell look like the Dalai Lama. So those of you of a sensitive disposition should probably skip this part. Over to you, Angus.

“Yes! I am GREAT! All the cows love me because I’m a sex machine. My hobbies are shagging, being brilliant at everything I do, cows with really big udders, shagging cows with really big udders, video games (I just LOVE Grand Theft Tractor) and action films – if a film doesn’t contain explosions and helicopters, and preferably exploding helicopters, then it’s not worth watching. Remember my name because one day I’m gonna be a HUGE gangsta rapper. Not sure what I’ll be called yet, but probably either The Bovine Beatbox, The Bovine Beefbox, Moolio, Bull Doggy Dogg, Jer-Z, CL Cool A or – my particular favourite at the moment – Beef Flava Flav. But whatever I'm called I will ROCK! YEAH! Right, laters, mothershaggers!”

Stroganoffing Bourguignon! *looks round to check Morag can't hear me swear* Angus really is an absolute idiot. Sorry, readers!

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