Aiming for ten posts in one day - a postal strike?

This is, admittedly, getting ridiculous. You wait ages for one single post on the world's premier bovine blog, and then suddenly seven of them come along all at once! A bit like buses, I suppose, but slightly more cow-shaped. Anyway, to go along with breaking my Indian duck earlier today, I have now also popped my Argentinian cherry! Yes, I had my first visitor from Argentina (hello Michael). So here's a word to the people of Argentina:

Murderers!

Stop eating so much steak! We don't like being eaten, you know.

According to the latest statistics, 31% of people in India are vegetarians, in Germany 9% of the population eat no meat, and in France there are 3 vegetarians. In case you were wondering, the percentage sign is not missing there. I'm not sure why I live in France, it seems about as safe for me as Taliban-ruled Afghanistan would have been for the Village People.

Miss, sigh, gone

In a heart-warming video, here's Stevie Wonder playing football.



Okay, apologies for that tasteless and rather substandard joke, but it is true that the video's star would have even failed to hit my bottom with a banjo.

Currying favour

Yes! Finally, after months of fervent hope, I have my first reader from India! You'd think that - with their love of cows - I would have attracted loads of them, but unfortunately this has not been the case. Let's hope this is the first of many, though, so welcome whoever you are! I really am delighted, and to celebrate I think I will have a grass vindaloo for lunch. 

Creeping up to 700 page views

I'm very proud that this little blog has been read nearly 700 times! OK, 650 of those are probably by Russian spambots, but still, 700 views is a lot, so thank you readers! Now, only another 300 to go until my blog will have been viewed nearly as many times as my human friend Ian Desmond's arse*.


*Ian takes great joy in revealing his buttocks in public. Needless to say, this great joy is not universally shared by the public.

Dexter

I can't believe I fitted so much into a single month - probably over 30 hours work, all that chess, regular naps and I finally managed to find time to finish Dexter. What a series! My keenly developed sense of schadenfreude does enjoy a good bit of telly where more humans get killed than cows ("I know, Peregrine, it should be "where more humans get killed than do cows", but I sometimes like slumming it grammatically). Exciting, great acting and characters, and some of the one-liners made me laugh for about 20 seconds. And believe me, it really is a sight to behold watching a cow guffaw.

Make mine a double

See, I've already doubled last month's number of posts. The creativity sometimes just (m)oozes out of me...

Busy, busy, busy

Sorry for the lack of updates, but I've been a busy bee. Well, a big, black and white bee made out of beef anyway. Unfortunately sometimes work takes priority, and I've also been spending a bit too much time obsessively playing chess, which is very tough for us cows - we just can't pick up the pieces with our hooves and we usually end up forfeiting the game by knocking over the king by mistake. This month I promise to give you more than last month's huge number of ONE updates though (I'd say at least twice that figure).