tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-52066491162126633802024-03-19T04:31:19.696+01:00Ruminator 3Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00514503466008722277noreply@blogger.comBlogger63125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5206649116212663380.post-11358971215388432752013-02-25T18:16:00.001+01:002013-02-25T18:16:55.659+01:00Yes, cows love the Beatles<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2Qcy-d4WCXr5b3fyBzivMyigsCDozxwvdssljukIAGi0AG32iun0zE-VtGVGIg5YxTQSwVzvBrx9wAOirXSLAV_64wGTSP6DL0gZjLTOy_mk5gckqR9p4uLigWyWSvJTWnxth93kkqRU/s1600/Cow+beatles.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2Qcy-d4WCXr5b3fyBzivMyigsCDozxwvdssljukIAGi0AG32iun0zE-VtGVGIg5YxTQSwVzvBrx9wAOirXSLAV_64wGTSP6DL0gZjLTOy_mk5gckqR9p4uLigWyWSvJTWnxth93kkqRU/s320/Cow+beatles.jpg" width="282" /></a></div>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00514503466008722277noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5206649116212663380.post-55067975439361926372013-02-09T14:16:00.003+01:002013-02-09T14:16:38.523+01:00Horses for (first and second) courses<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGUwM8Fchvf72dAUthI0D61dSVDwPqA8tAlIbR3LyzSBrA43s_2dGFOAVbwUyAHFr47f_nLhJPGdNAoQnbwo0VO9VI5Y542sSi6m3bXOyo2qwVVK0zhPCn5HvU_qqOnfLYv7GRGlgJMRc/s1600/horses.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGUwM8Fchvf72dAUthI0D61dSVDwPqA8tAlIbR3LyzSBrA43s_2dGFOAVbwUyAHFr47f_nLhJPGdNAoQnbwo0VO9VI5Y542sSi6m3bXOyo2qwVVK0zhPCn5HvU_qqOnfLYv7GRGlgJMRc/s320/horses.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Well, I didn't see people making a fuss when they thought they were eating us cows all this time! What makes horses so special, eh? I know if I were a human, I'd enjoy tucking into a nice horse burger on a crispy (thorough) bread roll, or a delicious Red Rump steak with a nice Caesar salad lavished with dressage, maybe even something nice and livery, all washed down with a lovely bottle of stable wine. In fact, I'd be champing at the bit just to try it.<br />
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00514503466008722277noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5206649116212663380.post-54293607567765766652012-12-24T21:47:00.002+01:002012-12-24T21:47:37.151+01:00Merry Christmas everyone<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-mLMuQf2KrCQxvTVuZJouWA66ARA23O7tHykzMFZpbfyPfYjTjgb6IihCTVqhD0gC6McEJ7gPBT5guUE1L3LK40P3JncVzzzV8qxrcuIqrQhHCSzGWeywOy_ZpZEJUJY9cg0UIW7zPgI/s1600/christmas+cow1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-mLMuQf2KrCQxvTVuZJouWA66ARA23O7tHykzMFZpbfyPfYjTjgb6IihCTVqhD0gC6McEJ7gPBT5guUE1L3LK40P3JncVzzzV8qxrcuIqrQhHCSzGWeywOy_ZpZEJUJY9cg0UIW7zPgI/s320/christmas+cow1.jpg" width="246" /></a></div>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00514503466008722277noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5206649116212663380.post-22718292231508569382012-12-23T22:39:00.003+01:002012-12-23T22:49:10.366+01:00Gooooooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaal!In the spirit of Christmas, and in honour of that famous yuletide scene during World War One when sworn enemies briefly put aside their differences over a game of football, we decided to organise a game against our main enemy – humans. Here is a match report from this, the world’s first ever inter-species match. Now, to give them the disrespect they deserve (and because they all look the same to me), I will refer to the human players solely by their number.<br />
<br />
Passion was running wild in the crowd and the atmosphere was electric – even before the players came out onto the pitch the humans’ hairs were standing up on the back of their necks, and the cows’ udders were tingling. Then, shortly before 3 pm, the teams came out to a rapturous welcome, with much clapping of hands among the human fans while the cow supporters stamped their hoofs in appreciation. In the interest of impartiality the referee was a monkey - a figure who, in evolutionary terms, can be described as somewhere between the human race and the animal world. A bit like Luis Suarez.<br />
<br />
We bovines had a couple of close-season signings to boost our ranks – German captain Franz Beckencauer signed from Bayern Moonich to shore up the defence and Wayne Mooney to knock in the goals at the other end. Brazilian Cowpato, recently back from upset stomachs, was on the bench.
Winning the coin toss, the bovine captain Angus Senior decided to kick towards the section with his own team’s most vociferous, most passionate fans in the Cowshed End. This of course meant many jeers and whistles as the human goalkeeper made his way slowly towards these noisy ultras who were soon serenading him with a brief rendition of the classic chant “You’re dung and you know you are”. In response, the human fans in the opposite end behind goalkeeper Doris replied with their own famous song “Who’s in all the pies? Who’s in all the pies? You are”.<br />
<br />
The humans kicked off, with number 9 passing it to number 10, who quickly heard his manager's cry of “pass it out to the flank”. Unfortunately, upon hearing the word flank, our left back Morag did her usual response to hearing a type of meat – she passed out instantly. Coach Daisy, immediately seeing the problem, ran on the pitch to rouse Morag with the magic sponge and the game was quickly able to continue.<br />
<br />
The first incident of note came in the 9th minute when Beckencauer literally hoofed the ball up field for speedy winger Angus Junior to chase after. Angus was quick to show off his dribbling skills, but unfortunately the ball then had to be replaced because it was covered in dribble.
In the 15th minute the humans, in a devastating counter attack, took the lead. Daisy clearly began to regret picking the halfwit Sally in defence. As the ball crept towards Sally, our manager cried out, “Quick, play the long ball, Sally!” Turning back to Coach Daisy, a confused Sally replied, “But I can’t see a long ball, only this round one.” The hesitation gave the human number 10 the chance to nip in and dink the ball over the outrushing Doris into the net. The human fans went wild, and Daisy realised she needed to make a tactical change. She’d originally planned to play the offside trap, but now realised the intricacies and subtleties of the offside law were too difficult for the neuron-impaired Sally to understand. Then again, the intricacies of WWF wrestling are too hard for Sally to understand (our resident brain donor said she couldn’t understand why the World Wildlife Fund were wearing those tiny spandex shorts).<br />
<br />
So it was time for a substitution. “Ok Kerry,” our trainer Daisy, realising silly Sally had to be replaced, now said to our resident promiscuous cow, “I want you to go on instead of Sally, I want you to play in a flat back four.”
“Are you trying to say I ain’t got no udders?” Kerry, in her strong Essex accent, said in her usual confrontational style before Daisy explained what a flat back four was.<br />
<br />
Daisy realised it was going to take a minor miracle to get back in the game. Luckily that soon came. From a back pass, Doris literally leathered the ball up field, and the human centre back slipped, letting Angus Junior in behind the defence. With a quick shimmy and feint Angus took the ball round the keeper before sliding the ball into the empty net. Right in front of the human fans, Angus now removed his shirt. The monkey ref, as required by the laws of the game, of course had to show Angus a yellow card (ok, it was actually a banana).<br />
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Then in the 32nd minute came the game’s first contentious issue. Mooney accidentally stood on number 8’s foot, and, considering Mooney weighs 600 kilos, this of course hurt like hell. Unsurprisingly, the human reacted by punching Mooney in the face. The referee of course had no choice but to show a red card, but then, seeing the red, Angus Junior ran up and headbutted the referee! “I hate red”, Angus said later, trying to justify his actions, but now both teams were down to ten creatures as the referee had no choice but to send Angus for an early bath, the first bath of his life.<br />
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The second half started disastrously for us bovines. We were passing the ball around stylishly when suddenly it started to rain, and all the cows immediately decided to lie down. Not one to miss out on a morally suspect advantage due to bovine instincts, the human number 7 nicked the ball and sped away to blast the ball into an unguarded goal. 2-1 to the bipedal bruisers.<br />
<br />
Luckily the rain soon stopped, so Bovine FC’s players could stand up again, but time was running out – Daisy looked at the clock and there were only 90 seconds remaining when Beckencauer went on a storming run up field before crossing to Angus Senior, who buried the ball into the net with his horns (bursting the ball in the process). 2-2! Would there be time for a final twist?<br />
<br />
In the fourth minute of injury time came the answer – a foul by human number 5 on Kerry led to a free kick on the edge of the box. Kerry thought this entitled her to give the player a kick back for free, but luckily team captain Angus Senior stopped her in time as he lined up the free kick. Staring at the human wall, he stamped his hoof down hard on the ground before running at full pelt towards the ball and wellying it into the top corner! The human goalkeeper was glued to the spot (otherwise he might have saved it). What a game! And what a victory for the bovines!
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00514503466008722277noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5206649116212663380.post-6970107423076840242012-09-18T17:32:00.000+02:002012-09-18T17:32:38.999+02:00HolidaysSorry for the lack of updates, dear readers, but as you can see from this picture, we've been on holiday in Corsica. It wasn't much fun squeezing into the Easyjet seats, but it was well worth it once we arrived.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiFbV-e66jgqVxxDvo5mDVeJk31XyE3ZPeUwgC9OCYMEgy83iXiGxuJ-gDuuklacNskjDVV2uV7a23zjwbct6egCp2FQZJhv6DZM8z6rOcNHTzPcTDklaM13JASDcJQH-fV8Io5VZ8c5g/s1600/beach+cows.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="173" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiFbV-e66jgqVxxDvo5mDVeJk31XyE3ZPeUwgC9OCYMEgy83iXiGxuJ-gDuuklacNskjDVV2uV7a23zjwbct6egCp2FQZJhv6DZM8z6rOcNHTzPcTDklaM13JASDcJQH-fV8Io5VZ8c5g/s320/beach+cows.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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It's now time to think of next year's holiday destination. Probably either Moonich, Istanbull or Moscow. Or maybe Jersey. I heard they really welcome cows here. Much more than they do in the Steak District anyway. Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00514503466008722277noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5206649116212663380.post-54357750167628959552012-09-06T11:29:00.002+02:002012-09-06T14:03:27.412+02:00Cow pitch invasion!Now I'm a big football fan. I shouldn't be really, considering the players wear dead cows on their feet to kick a ball made of dead cows, but still, it's good to watch. Here's a video of a friend of mine making her own pitch invasion<br />
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<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/oRTcxsLk24s" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
<br />As a tribute to my friend's heroic act, here's a cow football team<br />
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Goalkeeper - Dino Stroganzoff<br />
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Centre backs - Jaap Stampede, Beef Curle<br />
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Full backs - Cowpatrice Evra, Benoit Grassou-Ekotto<br />
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Midfield - Dunga, Cesc Fabregrass, Franck Ribeye-ry, Diego Maradoner-Kebab (captain)<br />
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Forwards - Radamel Falcow, Steve Bull<br />
<br />
Managed of course by Jose Moorinho<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00514503466008722277noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5206649116212663380.post-86949812229057708712012-07-24T12:19:00.002+02:002012-07-24T12:19:21.180+02:00TV on our farm is depressingThe telly has been getting me down. All the things available on our local farm-based channel are clearly designed to depress farmyard animals. For example:<br />
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The Curious Case of Benjamin Mutton - tragic tale of a sheep who, instead of ageing, has the misfortune of becoming younger, much tastier, and inevitably eaten.<br />
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Veal or No Veal - a sickening programme in which a cow has to open boxes which either contain cash or parts of her children. The TV guide describes it as a cross between the lottery and the film Se7en. To make it an even more horrifying experience to watch, it is also presented by Noel Edmonds<br />
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Pork & Mindy - A highly intelligent pig travels to earth from space, and gets eaten<br />
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The Ham Busters - The tragic story of how British forces dropped thousands of squealing pigs on Nazi Germany. Starring Kevin Bacon<br />
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Million Dollar Kebaby - Tragic tale of a cow who becomes a boxer, ends up paralysed after a lost fight, and then gets eaten by some drunks on a Friday night<br />
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Liver Let Die - Low-action James Bond film, where Roger Moore spends 90 minutes eating foie gras<br />
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Any other ideas what we could watch, dear readers?Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00514503466008722277noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5206649116212663380.post-50005038617653637932012-07-03T10:01:00.003+02:002012-07-03T10:01:54.607+02:00Cats, natural rebelsWarning, contains bad language. Or good language, depending on whether you like to swear<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnkLexKGC1P5tU_pxGeXHQ4DMNhtUln8oU0ZPHZUEkmqPi0I3qLRgJiCFd3BmZwEfMGpGU3d8h_EGXskff6XGEX2-qMUVl590FdVYMh7pZmPdc5weDQvPAvu7-m0ZskXPD9C2xIt_lRo0/s1600/rebelcat.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnkLexKGC1P5tU_pxGeXHQ4DMNhtUln8oU0ZPHZUEkmqPi0I3qLRgJiCFd3BmZwEfMGpGU3d8h_EGXskff6XGEX2-qMUVl590FdVYMh7pZmPdc5weDQvPAvu7-m0ZskXPD9C2xIt_lRo0/s320/rebelcat.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00514503466008722277noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5206649116212663380.post-78603514570577329002012-06-27T19:00:00.001+02:002012-06-27T19:00:45.403+02:00Films cows hateOn a similar note, there are lots of films we cows hate too. And not only ones with Hugh Grant in. Here are a few<br />
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Steakout<br />
Pi(e)<br />
The Spongiform SquarePants Movie<br />
The Burger King and I<br />
A Stroganofficer and a Gentleman<br />
BSEtlejuice<br />
The Loin King<br />
Filet Mignon Her Majesty's Secret Service<br />
King Konglet<br />
Conan the Tartarian<br />
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Over to you, readers, if you have any ideas.<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00514503466008722277noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5206649116212663380.post-50011732717324722502012-06-27T17:09:00.003+02:002012-06-27T17:10:54.268+02:00Twit or miss?In a desperate attempt to postpone having to do work (and hopefully to drum up a bit of additional following for this blog as I slowly creep towards 1000 visits), I decided to join Twitter. Now personally I have never seen the point of microblogging but I thought I'd give it a go. And I suppose it's kind of handy on those days when I have less than 140 characters worth of interesting news to say (i.e. most days). So if you want to follow me there have a look at <a href="https://twitter.com/#%21/Ruminator3">https://twitter.com/#!/Ruminator3</a>.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00514503466008722277noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5206649116212663380.post-43827344227744815552012-06-27T14:45:00.003+02:002012-06-27T18:42:26.530+02:00Please stop the musicOn this site you might have seen some of the songs we cows love, but there is plenty of music we really can't abide. And I don't just mean Phil Collins. Here's a list of some artists that a cow would never be found listening to<br />
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Abbatoir<br />
Half Man, Half Brisket<br />
Emerson, Steak and Palmer<br />
Tina Tournedos<br />
Duke Wellington<br />
Sirloin Mixalot<br />
Cole Porterhouse<br />
T-Boney M<br />
Veal 2 Veal (not even I Like To Moo It)<br />
The Beef 52s <br />
Chris de Burger<br />
Chris de Burgh (thought I'd better put him twice on account of his super crapness)<br />
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Any other ideas dear readers?Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00514503466008722277noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5206649116212663380.post-81245500947069075332012-06-27T14:24:00.001+02:002012-06-27T14:24:12.135+02:00Scary cowsHere's a delightful picture taken by my friend Phil. Any slaughterhouse workers seeing this picture of such menacing, kick-ass cows would run a mile in fear for their lives, so hurrah for Phil for telling the world that we cows can be bad udderf*ckers.
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjq0HWW-Pe6E8vgnmakhQhjZqpgeHIDMUlgcCKWCeWLFWPZCQanp0dynAAHFKaEQG8d62LkBwGMk0v1Lq9j_zE4OSjCnfm51k2054CnhJP5U29WyHGIUedUZfwYnZNTtC-ITiMgw5sWmhs/s1600/Phil%2527s+cows.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="300" width="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjq0HWW-Pe6E8vgnmakhQhjZqpgeHIDMUlgcCKWCeWLFWPZCQanp0dynAAHFKaEQG8d62LkBwGMk0v1Lq9j_zE4OSjCnfm51k2054CnhJP5U29WyHGIUedUZfwYnZNTtC-ITiMgw5sWmhs/s400/Phil%2527s+cows.jpg" /></a></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00514503466008722277noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5206649116212663380.post-32225745773773181502012-06-12T18:30:00.001+02:002012-06-12T18:33:21.796+02:00Cows in StrasbourgStrasbourg is, in all senses, a fine place to live. Beautiful, great public transport (not that important for us cows, admittedly), and the best of Franco-German cuisine (well, French style with monster German portions). It is also a fantastic place for us cows to live, as you can see here<br />
<br />
<iframe src="http://player.vimeo.com/video/41134466" width="500" height="281" frameborder="0" webkitAllowFullScreen mozallowfullscreen allowFullScreen></iframe> <p><a href="http://vimeo.com/41134466">Reportage Vaches à la Robertsau</a> from <a href="http://vimeo.com/zeliechalvignac">Zélie Chalvignac</a> on <a href="http://vimeo.com">Vimeo</a>.</p>
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How cool is that? About a quarter of an hour from the centre of town is a home for cows, whose job it is to eat grass to help the environment! Since, like our sister Morag, they are Highland cows, they are perfectly equipped to live out in the open all year round too - winter is no problem for such hirsute bovines. For those who don't understand ze French, well, it doesn't really matter when there are such fantastic pictures.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00514503466008722277noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5206649116212663380.post-2772615001249311632012-05-21T09:30:00.001+02:002012-05-21T09:30:37.921+02:00Tragedy!We cows do like a good bit of disco, so it is sad to hear of the death of Robin Gibb. Hard to pick a favourite from so many classics, but here are some which are particularly loved on our farm:<br />
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Grassachusetts<br />
Steakin' alive<br />
Moo win again (yep, I'm really scraping the bottom of the barrel now)<br />
More than a cow<br />
Jive mooin'<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00514503466008722277noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5206649116212663380.post-72202129864258852332012-05-14T19:31:00.001+02:002012-05-14T19:31:17.995+02:00Grand masticatorPeregrine's been teaching me chess. I'm not very good at it - I keep confusing the prawns with the bishops, for a start - but I am sure I will get better if my teacher is anything to go by. He said, "As the old adage goes, practice makes perfect. Do anything often enough and you will get good at it. Look at Angus, for example. After years of doing it, he's now simply <i>brilliant</i> at talking crap and annoying the hell out of us." He's got a point, I suppose. Angus is the king of bull.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00514503466008722277noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5206649116212663380.post-61346485398735410192012-05-14T18:25:00.001+02:002012-05-14T18:25:35.869+02:00Even Robert Louis Stevenson liked usHe wrote this poem<br />
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The friendly cow all red and white,<br />
I love with all my heart:<br />
She gives me cream with all her might,<br />
To eat with apple-tart.<br />
She wanders lowing here and there,<br />
And yet she cannot stray,<br />
All in the pleasant open air,<br />
The pleasant light of day;<br />
And blown by all the winds that pass<br />
And wet with all the showers,<br />
She walks among the meadow grass<br />
And eats the meadow flowers.<br />
<br />
Shame it's a bit crap really. Nice sentiment though! <br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00514503466008722277noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5206649116212663380.post-63291885115877465922012-05-14T18:21:00.000+02:002012-05-14T18:21:10.455+02:00Yet another magnificent cow songI'm reluctant to ever give credit to humans, but considering Da Vinci, Einstein, and the authors of this song are all humans, I suppose they're not all bad<br />
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<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/kcRJUqykLkc" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00514503466008722277noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5206649116212663380.post-78409466512393114012012-05-14T18:06:00.002+02:002012-05-14T18:08:30.899+02:00Cow termsThere are some interesting terms you humans use to describe us cows, for example the following:<br />
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Buff - Yellow-reddish colour or a light skin colour. So if a cow says "that bull is buff", she is not referring to his muscular appearance. Or at least not in Peregrine's case. I sometimes wonder how he manages to walk on his spindly little, stork-like legs, but he does give them very little exercise, preferring to do cryptic crosswords, play chess, and generally look down on everyone for being his intellectual inferior<br />
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Breed - A genetically pure line having similar conformation and able to produce offspring with the same characteristics. Thanks to Mr A Hitler, Third Reich Farm for that definition<br />
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Calf - A sexually immature young cow. I suppose this term could also be used to describe half of the teenage Essex population, but without the "im" part obviously<br />
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Dam - Female parent. Probably because cows are quite useful for holding back water.<br />
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Muley - Hornless cow. Presumably the opposite of a horny cow, i.e. Kerry<br />
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Poll - The space between the ears on top of the head. Unsurprisingly it really confused our resident idiot Sally when I told her people were voting in our first ever poll.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00514503466008722277noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5206649116212663380.post-44639711396591151722012-05-11T15:40:00.001+02:002012-05-11T15:40:25.503+02:00Poll-y cow!With an astonishing 2 votes so far in the first ever poll, it has obviously fired your imagination. Still, there might be a late surge with the overseas postal voteAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00514503466008722277noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5206649116212663380.post-70067306342309508062012-05-10T19:31:00.001+02:002012-05-10T19:32:02.875+02:00Cows are smarter than sheep<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/ziSr3mWw4qc" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00514503466008722277noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5206649116212663380.post-28978538903137838402012-05-10T19:00:00.002+02:002012-05-10T19:00:44.917+02:00What a song!If I wrote a song about cows, it would be <i>this</i><br />
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<br />
<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/e3_7UikPpcg" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00514503466008722277noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5206649116212663380.post-53883875408574342412012-05-08T22:37:00.001+02:002012-05-08T22:45:48.752+02:00Hmm, not sure this ad makes me want to buy the product<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/kxledKdkOKw" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
I think I would happily choose insomnia over death. It would be great if all adverts were required by law to be as honest as pharmaceutical companies clearly are, though. I'd love to see McDonald's say "Awful food that will make you fat. And we kill cows."Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00514503466008722277noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5206649116212663380.post-1772628917720734902012-05-08T21:44:00.002+02:002012-05-08T21:44:42.198+02:00Here's a video of me dancing<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/ZixgIE3WShk?rel=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00514503466008722277noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5206649116212663380.post-57528721200823956722012-05-08T16:17:00.001+02:002012-05-10T13:35:59.244+02:00Adam Y-ouchNow I'm not a big fan of white rappers - Eminem is, quite frankly, appalling, and I never got the whole Beastie Boys thing. Bovines much prefer Snoop Dogg. But even so, this must be the worst tribute ever paid by anyone in the history of music - Coldplay singing Fight For Your Right<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/LVr4UP9ntLs?rel=0" width="560"></iframe>
<br />
<br />
Yes, Coldplay! I bet Adam Yauch is glad he's dead so he doesn't have to listen to that pile of dung. What next? Phil Collins doing a cover of Smells like Teen Spirit? James Blunt covering Purple Haze?<br />
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<br />
Just in case Christ Martin is reading, <i>this </i> is how to cover the Beastie Boys<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/n0CrB-mLh3g" width="420"></iframe>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00514503466008722277noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5206649116212663380.post-88128338616361315292012-05-08T15:42:00.000+02:002012-05-08T21:54:07.674+02:00Google Translate - putting translators out of businessSome readers may know of my fondness for Google Translate. As a free tool, it is remarkably clever and accurate. It translates better than a lot of the human translators my editor Denis has seen anyway. So I decided to add a Google Translate widget to my blog. For all you polyglots out there, I was very impressed with its French and German translations of yesterday's statement "to go along with breaking my Indian duck earlier today, I have now also popped my Argentinian cherry":<br />
<br />
"zu gehen zusammen mit indischen Ente bricht mir heute früh, ich habe jetzt auch einen Druckausgleich in meinen argentinischen Kirsche"<br />
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="FR">"pour aller avec
mon canard briser les Indiens plus tôt aujourd'hui, j'ai maintenant aussi sauté
ma cerise argentine"</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="FR">I'd just love it if Germans, upon losing their virginity, stood up and announced to the world with pride "ich habe einen Druckausgleich in meiner Kirsche." (I have pressure equalisation in my cherry)</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span><br />
Google also has a Translate for Animals app
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/3I24bSteJpw?rel=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00514503466008722277noreply@blogger.com0