Ruminator 3: Welcome!

Hello, my name’s Buttercup, and this is my blog. There’s a distinct lack of blogs written by cows, so I thought I’d better start a new trend – after all, we cows have a lot more to say than you humans might think.

Here is a picture of me behind my friend Denis. I’m the one on the far right, and he’s the one with two legs. He helps me out a bit with grammar and spelling and also helped me a bit with the book I have written. It is an epic tale of bovine rebellion which cxhjdfsdfsdjfhrf. Oops, sorry about that, but it's not easy typing with hoofs. So where was I? Oh yes, it’s an epic tale of bovine rebellion which still needs a bit of work to finish, and this blog will give you details about my progress in getting my opus completed. Right, I suppose it’s time to tell you a bit more about myself and my friends.
In the picture next to me you can see Delilah. I suppose I could describe Delilah as a happy-go-lucky, easy-going, generally chilled out cow, but I’d be lying. She never stops complaining, whinging about all kinds of subjects but especially about bulls and her other favourite topic – everything. It is hardly surprising she complains about bulls, though, because we have to live with Angus. Boorish, cocky, arrogant - these are just a few words Angus doesn’t know the meaning of, but they describe him perfectly. With Angus's constant cruel barbs and insults, it is no wonder Morag from the Scottish Highlands is so insecure about her looks. Ok, she might be a bit hairier than the rest of us, but that’s no excuse for Angus telling her to shave and saying she shouldn’t be afraid of Immac because it’s not a type of burger.
The leader of our farm is Daisy, a.k.a. Moo See Dung. She is too busy to waste time with such frivolities as blogging, but she might offer occasional words of wisdom that appear on this page. She also has her hoofs full with her rebellious, adolescent daughter Doris. Doris drives her mad with her quick-fire tongue and threats to abandon vegetarianism and become a fully-fledged meat eater.
All of my friends (and Angus) have told me they will be making occasional appearances on this blog to give their unique views on life and, in Angus’s case, to bore you to death by telling you who he’s shagged. So I hope you look forward to that.

Over the next few weeks you can look forward to updates on my life, and maybe even reviews of some films I have watched and books I have read. Here is a taster of what's to come

Film reviews

Milk - disappointing. I had no idea it was the story of a man. Wasted 2 hours of my life. In a similar vein, I’d rather not talk about the hours I wasted reading Günther Grass.

Driving Miss Daisy – see "Milk”

I will also be holding a competition for the best drawing of a cow, here is my entry to get the ball rolling.