Sorry for the late update, readers, but I was on holiday, spending a slightly less than terrible time in Portugal, but sometimes I spend a slightly less than terrible time at home, so I don't know why I went on holiday in the first place. I really did not enjoy struggling to squeeze my large bovine bottom into an Easyjet chair, I tell you. Anyway, when I arrived in Portugal I was, on several occasions, offered grass by dodgy looking men in the main tourist areas, and eventually I couldn't resist. Imagine my disappointment when I found out it was marijuana I bought. I thought 50 euros was a bit expensive for a tiny bag of grass that I can eat for free at home, but I was desperate. Well, I was disgusted when I ate it - it tasted nothing like the delicious grass I eat every day. I hate foreign food.
Then on the way back I was running late for my train to France so considered getting a taxi in Switzerland to take me from the airport to the railway station. The price was 40 euros for a 5 minute journey! I thought the Swiss would be more cow-friendly, or at least neutral as they claim to be, but they clearly hate us cows, the money-grabbing, cuckoo clock-making, Nazi gold hoarding yodeling gits. Luckily I managed to hitchhike to the station on a passing tractor.
Anyway, time to go as I have a big Cow to English translation to do, but just thought I would disappoint you by letting you know I am still alive.
