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Tuesday 24 July 2012

TV on our farm is depressing

The telly has been getting me down. All the things available on our local farm-based channel are clearly designed to depress farmyard animals. For example:

The Curious Case of Benjamin Mutton - tragic tale of  a sheep who, instead of ageing, has the misfortune of becoming younger, much tastier, and inevitably eaten.

Veal or No Veal - a sickening programme in which  a cow has to open boxes which either contain cash or parts of her children. The TV guide describes it as a cross between the lottery and the film Se7en. To make it an even more horrifying experience to watch, it is also presented by Noel Edmonds

Pork & Mindy - A highly intelligent pig travels to earth from space, and gets eaten

The Ham Busters - The tragic story of how British forces dropped thousands of squealing pigs on Nazi Germany. Starring Kevin Bacon

Million Dollar Kebaby - Tragic tale of a cow who becomes a boxer, ends up paralysed after a lost fight, and then gets eaten by some drunks on a Friday night

Liver Let Die - Low-action James Bond film, where Roger Moore spends 90 minutes eating foie gras

Any other ideas what we could watch, dear readers?

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