Tragedy!

We cows do like a good bit of disco, so it is sad to hear of the death of Robin Gibb. Hard to pick a favourite from so many classics, but here are some which are particularly loved on our farm:

Grassachusetts
Steakin' alive
Moo win again (yep, I'm really scraping the bottom of the barrel now)
More than a cow
Jive mooin'

Grand masticator

Peregrine's been teaching me chess. I'm not very good at it - I keep confusing the prawns with the bishops, for a start - but I am sure I will get better if my teacher is anything to go by. He said, "As the old adage goes, practice makes perfect. Do anything often enough and you will get good at it. Look at Angus, for example. After years of doing it, he's now simply brilliant at talking crap and annoying the hell out of us." He's got a point, I suppose. Angus is the king of bull.

Even Robert Louis Stevenson liked us

He wrote this poem

The friendly cow all red and white,
I love with all my heart:
She gives me cream with all her might,
To eat with apple-tart.
She wanders lowing here and there,
And yet she cannot stray,
All in the pleasant open air,
The pleasant light of day;
And blown by all the winds that pass
And wet with all the showers,
She walks among the meadow grass
And eats the meadow flowers.

Shame it's a bit crap really. Nice sentiment though!

Yet another magnificent cow song

I'm reluctant to ever give credit to humans, but considering Da Vinci, Einstein, and the authors of this song are all humans, I suppose they're not all bad

Cow terms

There are some interesting terms you humans use to describe us cows, for example the following:

Buff - Yellow-reddish colour or a light skin colour. So if a cow says "that bull is buff", she is not referring to his muscular appearance. Or at least not in Peregrine's case. I sometimes wonder how he manages to walk on his spindly little, stork-like legs, but he does give them very little exercise, preferring to do cryptic crosswords, play chess, and generally look down on everyone for being his intellectual inferior

Breed - A genetically pure line having similar conformation and able to produce offspring with the same characteristics. Thanks to Mr A Hitler, Third Reich Farm for that definition

Calf - A sexually immature young cow. I suppose this term could also be used to describe half of the teenage Essex population, but without the "im" part obviously

Dam - Female parent. Probably because cows are quite useful for holding back water.

Muley - Hornless cow. Presumably the opposite of a horny cow, i.e. Kerry

Poll - The space between the ears on top of the head. Unsurprisingly it really confused our resident idiot Sally when I told her people were voting in our first ever poll.

Poll-y cow!

With an astonishing 2 votes so far in the first ever poll, it has obviously fired your imagination. Still, there might be a late surge with the overseas postal vote

Cows are smarter than sheep