Cow terms

There are some interesting terms you humans use to describe us cows, for example the following:

Buff - Yellow-reddish colour or a light skin colour. So if a cow says "that bull is buff", she is not referring to his muscular appearance. Or at least not in Peregrine's case. I sometimes wonder how he manages to walk on his spindly little, stork-like legs, but he does give them very little exercise, preferring to do cryptic crosswords, play chess, and generally look down on everyone for being his intellectual inferior

Breed - A genetically pure line having similar conformation and able to produce offspring with the same characteristics. Thanks to Mr A Hitler, Third Reich Farm for that definition

Calf - A sexually immature young cow. I suppose this term could also be used to describe half of the teenage Essex population, but without the "im" part obviously

Dam - Female parent. Probably because cows are quite useful for holding back water.

Muley - Hornless cow. Presumably the opposite of a horny cow, i.e. Kerry

Poll - The space between the ears on top of the head. Unsurprisingly it really confused our resident idiot Sally when I told her people were voting in our first ever poll.