TV on our farm is depressing

The telly has been getting me down. All the things available on our local farm-based channel are clearly designed to depress farmyard animals. For example:

The Curious Case of Benjamin Mutton - tragic tale of  a sheep who, instead of ageing, has the misfortune of becoming younger, much tastier, and inevitably eaten.

Veal or No Veal - a sickening programme in which  a cow has to open boxes which either contain cash or parts of her children. The TV guide describes it as a cross between the lottery and the film Se7en. To make it an even more horrifying experience to watch, it is also presented by Noel Edmonds

Pork & Mindy - A highly intelligent pig travels to earth from space, and gets eaten

The Ham Busters - The tragic story of how British forces dropped thousands of squealing pigs on Nazi Germany. Starring Kevin Bacon

Million Dollar Kebaby - Tragic tale of a cow who becomes a boxer, ends up paralysed after a lost fight, and then gets eaten by some drunks on a Friday night

Liver Let Die - Low-action James Bond film, where Roger Moore spends 90 minutes eating foie gras

Any other ideas what we could watch, dear readers?

Cats, natural rebels

Warning, contains bad language. Or good language, depending on whether you like to swear